dinner with charlotte again=)

aloha!!!actually i need post this before the medic..haha!

up side down liao...zhen pai seh neh=(

after work of course me and charlotte had dinner again =D

is quite fun night,but we very paiseh leh..haha!

but 1 word thanks to chee treat me ate italianes..i love u charlotte!!=)

sick sick sick

i am sick almost 1 week,but yesterday just went to see doctor..doctor said if i delay for go clinic,my sickness will getting worst..and thanks for my company the medic card so i went to see doctor is freeeeeeee.=)alot alot medic i need eat..sad=(because of me my plan with friends out 2nite was cancel...sorry guys=(

feel wanna out from this home

I am thinking this question everyday every night,even i am working,studying,or do whateva i am doing,i was thinking this question;

1. Should i leave this home and rent house/room at outside??
   
2. Should i leave this home and leave this job move to JB stay with my relative??

why i am think this questions?

i am sad person in everydays,although alot peoples said i am happy go lucky person,but i think i am not that person because i am not happy when staying with my family,i don't like to see my grandparents(i am bad)i don't like to out with my grandparents!i mean my mother's side geh parents!

i am always think why my father's side all relative treat me so good,why here like i don't know how to say,that's why always chinese new year or on leave holidays time 1st i think is sepnd my time to my JB relative,why my ah gong ah ma was past away so early??i believe,if they still here they will love me much!

when i go work or back from work,i am always at infront of this sign board.

work?home???

• 
  work i can earn money.
• 
  home is actually is a peaceful home,but i don't get any peaceful when i am in home,why?coz everyday was can heared quarrels in my house....

Dad=i am correct i din do anythings wrong!!!!

Mum=i am correct you are wrong!!!!

this 2 dialog always listen it by them,me cannot do anythings,work for me is tiring,so i hope that i can stay at home for how many hours let me rest,sleep and 2nd day i am prepare for wroking,but sad is i am not get this at all.

Sometimes i feel like i am not their daughter,i am a lebih in this CHIN family,because parents always helping my brother,what he done all is correct,even he playing whole day computer game also correct,once i received from teacher's call that said my brother at school was not listening what teacher teaching,sleeping in class,when i told my parents,they din't take any action,they also din't listen what i am going to tell them.i am feel unfair that why parents treat him so freaking good?din not do any house work whole day sitting at there playing computer games.everyday i reach home from work or anywhere,sure will get ngang by my MUM!did i do anythings wrong?sometimes i am thinking i don't wanna back home.why MUM always ngang me not to my brother?why some of family are peaceful?why i am not get it?

when she at outside was do very good to her's family,at home?NO WAY!!!why wanna do this at outside and let people know you are good?is so 'JIA'!!everyday when i am going back home is crying back to it!that's why i am always hang out with friends.at lease i get some happiness with them.i am type this with my tears drop now!i don't feel wanna answer anybody call and sms!sorry for all was incoming call and sms today!i need alone!

p/s:why i am thinking this 2 questions?

answer is because i feel wanna leave this scary/unfair home!

Love/Life

I'd been through a tough, challenging, fun and sad week. I'm not joking! This is just the beginning. The next time I would definitely use more extreme 'adjective' to express my feelings. Projects was given, tasks was assigned, position was chosen.. Everything are testing my patience, my capacity, my wisdom, my strength, my faith and even my grace to peoples around me. I never in this kind of situation, my schedule is packed everyday. Planning is working non-stop in my mind. I got a 'blackberry' in my brain kay. p/s: Dont ask me why not Iphone. Anyway, I wont allow anything that could screw up everything!

I felt like I want to cry whenever I was stuck in any situations. My flesh is dead. Emotionally is dead. Mentally is dead. Oh wait, thank God spiritually still strong. Amen! I really wanna be my best to do my part as a cell member, as a good friend, as a good leader,as a good daughter and sister. I'm learning to be better, helping myself and helping others out. Unfortunately, no one understand me, my situation, my feelings, and my efforts. Think I do all these for the sake of sympathy? For the sake of grades? For the sake of duties? For the sake of responsibilities nobody wants to hold? Well, I wont deny I don't have any selfish thoughts. I tried to be selfish. When people afraid of getting hurts, they sew their heart. The soul is hide beneath. And this is the saddest 'surgery' has made. I did before. But I realize this is useless, this is not what God wants me to do. He gave me love, to love first you need a pure heart.

p/s:I just wanna cry out...

Always be positive.

It's been a while, my life was negative for the past year and now I learnt when we think positively no matter how bad is the thing we will go thru it.



Sometimes I didn't care what people think when I'm talking and people advice me not to talk like that in the public and I listen positively even though I'm a bit upset. The person who told me that is because she/he cares about me, she want me to change.



Life is really wonderful if you think positively and be a believer. Nothing is impossible, the thing is wether you want it or not. It doesn't matter how you do it, the thinking is the matter.



I used to think negatively when people advice me, I will get angry and really piss off. But now I learnt we shouldn't put our negative faith upon us, we need to change it to positive so our life will be wonderful and there will be no difficulties in life.



Sometimes people just can't resist the word I can't in their mind, take away the "t" in I can't! It easy, if you think you can, mean you can. Everything start from 0, with our own effort I believe we can do whatever things we want to achieve in life.Recently, I have been thinking a lot about my life, I should take the first step, positive thinking. With this I would be more clam when doing something.



Many people do not believe in faith, because they doesn't have the believe in them. God is always looking us up there. He knows what we are doing and what we want, If you didn't believe in yourself, how will god help you?



life can be really wonderful people, start thinking positively now, and be a believer and change the I can't to I can. Don't be lazy to change your state of mind. :)

I need to be more confident on myself.

Where is my confident??

I can't see any confident on myself. I speak loud but actually there is no confident in me.

I really feel useless. My English is not good and i know it too.

I tell myself a lot of time that I need to improve myself but why I'm still the same?

I need improvement seriously but how??

When i speak English I surely will mess up the words that I use.

I must be more daring in doing something.

Why do I always feel scare when doing something?

Everyone need to learn, need to fall down, only they will know what they suppose to do in their life, no matter love, money, career.

Everything need to learn. Like what my best friend told me, Everything need to learn before you know what to do.

So for now, I need to learn what to do, learn how to speak more English nicely.

I don't want to let myself drop down until cannot stand up.

I don't want to disgrace my parent.

Don't want them to feel worry and sad about me anymore.

I'm a big girl already .

I should know what to do not asking people what should I do.

This is what our life suppose to be.

From now onward,

I will learn every step of my life again.

I will be more confident on myself.

I must believe that, when I failed,

I will stand up and redo it over and over again until i passed.

Thanks to all the people that give me advice,

teach me how to be better in life. I really do appreciate it. thanks.

~Happy Chinese New Year~

wish everybody happy chinese new year!!!

may tiger year brings alot alot luck to all...!!!

wohoo!!!huat ar!!!